Krsnanandini Devi Dasi

Though our desire to find happiness is natural, our attempt to find it in this world is not.

During a radio interview in London in July 1976, Mike Robinson of the London Broadcasting Company asked Srila Prabhupada, “Can you tell me what you believe to be the meaning of life? Why do we exist in the first place?”

Srila Prabhupada replied, “The meaning of life means to enjoy, but we are in a different platform of life. Therefore we are suffering instead of enjoying. But if you come to the real platform, then you enjoy. Because here we see struggle for existence. Everyone is struggling, but what is the aim? For enjoyment of life. Therefore life means enjoyment. But at the present moment our life is not enjoyment.”

While Srila Prabhupada could have given any number of correct answers from his veritable storehouse of spiritual wisdom, he chose to state the ultimate reality in succinct, unequivocal terms: We all want pleasure, we want to enjoy, we want to be happy. The reality is that everyone tries to avoid illness, distress, and poverty; no one seeks misery or pain. This drive to be happy, to enjoy, is an inherent part of our nature. The Vedanta-sutra (1.1.12) proclaims, anandamayo ’bhyasat: “[the living entity] is joyful by nature.”

Lord Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita claims every living being in every body as a part of Himself. This truth – that every soul is a part of the Personality of Godhead – means that every soul has the same nature as God.

We find this information in the Brahmasamhita (5.1): “Krishna , who is known as Govinda, is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He has an eternal, blissful, spiritual body.” Since God is sac-cid-ananda, full of eternity, knowledge, and bliss, every part of Him has the same transcendental composition. A piece of gold, no matter how small, is not just golden – it is gold. Because we are part of God, we are also sac-cid-ananda.

Our Relentless Quest For Enjoyment

Therefore, our quest for enjoyment is unavoidable and has been going on for a long, long time in different bodies, in different ages, on different planets. We’ve tasted sweet, sour, bitter, and salty foods. We’ve touched, handled, and held an uncountable variety of things. Our eyes have sought the attractive, the big, the small, the expensive, the colorful, and still hanker for more. Our ears have given aural reception to sounds that are loud, shrill, quiet, crashing, banging, squeaking, cooing, harsh, pleasing. Life after life, each of our senses has pushed and pulled us in many directions as we try to enjoy, to find pleasure. We’ve been tricked, deluded again and again. “Maybe this time this situation I’ve tried before will give me happiness.” If I just have more money, more fame, if I just get the other job, if I get the other lover . . .

Is there pleasure to be found here in the material world? Some would say yes. “I just enjoyed a delicious meal.” “I live with the love of my life.” “That sunset gave me immense pleasure.” “That book stimulated my mind.” We don’t want these pleasures to end. But they do. We can eat only so much. Our bodies inevitably age. Romances break up. People die. The sunset fades into darkness. The very material body with which we seek pleasure diminishes in its ability to enjoy, while the desire to enjoy remains. The lasting, enduring joy we desire is ever elusive. And just as a thirsty person can never be satisfied by a single drop of water (or even three or four drops), so the soul cannot be satisfied by the nonpermanent pleasures found on the material plane.

What passes for enjoyment or happiness in this world is often only the cessation of frustration, the relief of pain, or the absence of annoyance. If someone’s tooth is aching, is relief from the toothache happiness?

Throughout the ages, songwriters and poets have expressed their realizations about the flickering nature of happiness based on material things. Songs with lyrics like “The love I saw in you was just a mirage” and “Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion” reflect their verdict. Or they’ve written about how happiness is derived from nonmaterial things. For example, the nineteenthcentury Scottish writer Alexander Chalmers wrote, “The three grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.”

According to the Bhagavad-gita and the Vaisnava preceptors, the “someone to love” is Krishna , the “something to do” is serve Krishna , and the “something to hope for” is pure, unmotivated, uninterrupted devotional service to Krishna .

In the introduction to Bhagavadgita As It Is, Srila Prabhupada addresses the issue of happiness: “The material world is but a shadow of reality. In the shadow there is no reality or substantiality, but from the shadow we can understand that there are substance and reality. In the desert there is no water, but the mirage suggests that there is such a thing as water. In the material world there is no water, there is no happiness, but the real water of actual happiness is there in the spiritual world.”

The Reservoir of Pleasure Real pleasure, real joy lasts forever. It’s eternal, spiritual, and available when we are in contact, through devotional service, with the person whose very essence is joy, who emanates joy from every pore of His being. And that is why the Supreme Lord is the Chief Enjoyment Officer (CEO).* One of His names in this regard is Govinda, “the one who gives pleasure to the cows and senses.” He is the reservoir of pleasure. He is always enjoying. He is always blissful, and those who connect with Him through pure devotional service taste the same bliss. Therefore, many names of the Supreme Lord refer to His joyful nature and pastimes, including Rama, Gokula Ranjana, Kunjavihari, and Radha-ramana, to cite a few.

Love in Person

“God is love.” My mother and grandparents said this time and time again when I was growing up. In Krishna consciousness we have a refined understanding of that laudable sentiment: Krishna , being absolute, is identical with His quality of infinite love. Absolute Love. Absolute Truth. Absolute Knowledge. Absolute Joy. To rework a Christian saying: “Know Krishna , know joy; no Krishna , no joy.” How can there be happiness without a connection with the Personality of Happiness? How can there be joy without a relationship with the one whose very nature is complete joy?

We Can be Joyful Here and Now

The Chief Enjoyment Officer, Govinda, Krishna , wants us to be happy. After all, each of us is a spiritual being, part of Him, and His eternal relative. Here are a few suggestions for claiming joy now:

• Try to see and acknowledge God in all things. The Bhagavad-gita provides many clues for accomplishing this: When we drink water, we can acknowledge that the taste of that water is Krishna (“I am the taste of water”). When we observe superb talent or artistry or ability in anyone, we can remind ourselves that this remarkable ability is Krishna (“I am ability in man”). We can pray for the vision to realize that Krishna is in every atom and in the heart of every living being. Krishna says that as the Supersoul in everyone’s heart He directs the wanderings of every living being. Pray to see the hand of God even in so-called negative things. What lesson can we learn? The Bible informs us, “Everything worketh together for the good of they that love the Lord.”

• When seeing the sun and moon, we can appreciate that their light is Krishna ’s energy.

• Chant the holy names of the Lord loudly in congregation and more quietly in japa every day. Calling Krishna ’s names, any of them, purifies the heart and brings joy. “The whole world becomes joyful upon hearing Your name.” (Bhagavadgita 11.36) In the Qur’an we learn, “The most beautiful names belong to God, so call upon Him by them.” In the Bible we find, “He that calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.” Lord Caitanya, the great apostle of love, proclaimed in His Siksastaka: “Glory to the Sri Krishna sankirtana, which cleanses the heart of all the dust accumulated for years and extinguishes the fire of conditional life, of repeated birth and death. This sankirtana movement is the prime benediction for humanity at large because it spreads the rays of the benediction moon. It is the life of all transcendental knowledge. It increases the ocean of transcendental bliss, and it enables us to fully taste the nectar for which we are always anxious.”
We should accept the profound and prophetic instruction of Srila Prabhupada to “chant and be happy.”

• Associate as much as possible with the sincere servants of the Lord, who consciously hear and chant about Him, remember Him, serve His lotus feet, worship Him, offer Him prayers, consider Him their best friend, and surrender everything unto Him by carrying out His instructions as given by the scriptures and His pure representatives. Krishna’s pure-hearted servants are carriers of joy and instruments of peace.

• Give service, time, and money to devotees and devotional causes. Use your talents and gifts in the service of Krishna . Selfless giving purifies the heart and brings peace and contentment. We cannot have happiness or joy without peace.

• Claim the victory! In his commentary on Bhagavad-gita 1.14, Srila Prabhupada writes that “victory and fortune were awaiting Arjuna, as indicated by the transcendental sound produced by the conchshell of Visnu, or Krishna .” Like Arjuna, victory awaits all sincere souls who accept the shelter of the all-merciful Lord.

There is much sadness, depression, pain, and suffering in our contemporary world. Yet, Lord Krishna desires our happiness. We have just forgotten how to find it. Therefore, Govinda, the Chief Enjoyment Officer, has sent His name and His devotees to remind us of our natural birthright of happiness and joy.

I Have Vivid memories of the many times my mother took my siblings and me to church the heartfelt gospel singing, the soul-stirring preaching, the supplications for lost souls to join the church. I remember the passing of the baskets to collect money to support the church and its many activities, and I recall well the song that generally accompanied these collections. Its famous, oft-sung lyrics still echo in my mind today: “You can’t beat God giving, no matter how you try. The more you give, the more He gives to you. Just keep on giving; you’ll find it’s really true.”

As Vaishnavas, we are instructed to give in charity, because the act of giving assists our spiritual progress in various ways. especially for householders, or grhasthas, the injunction to give in charity is a strong one. Srila Prabhupada writes, “For the grhasthas, or householders, performance of sacrifices, distribution of charity, and action according to prescribed duties are especially recommended.” (Srimad-Bhagavatam 3.32, Purport)

Sometimes many of us struggle with how, to whom, and even why to give in charity. but just as sincere devotees are committed to eating only food offered to Lord Krishna, they should be committed to regularly giving in charity some portion of their income. In this way, devotees can become examples to others of how to get money honestly and distribute it for the satisfaction of the Lord.

Our giving should be connected to Krishna in some way. For example, when we contribute to ISKCON programs, we’re supporting Krishna’s desire that His teachings be spread everywhere. The Supreme Lord is atmarama, or self-satisfied. He does not need our offerings. He is completely full in Himself and is served by hundreds and thousands of eager, enthusiastic, pure-hearted goddesses of fortune. Yet He instructs us to give in charity to Him. Why? because it purifies and strengthens us spiritually. Giving in charity to Krishna is one way we acknowledge that everything belongs to Him. “If by the grace of the Lord we get such opulences as material wealth, fame, power, education, and beauty, it is our duty to consider that they are all gifts of the Lord and must be used for His service, not our sense enjoyment.” (Krishna, chapter 81)

The Benefits of Giving in Charity

Giving in charity purifies the heart because it helps us become detached from material things and cleanses the desire for fruitive results. Giving in charity purifies our finances and accumulated wealth. envision the vast universe as a bank. The charity we give is like a deposit in that bank, the dividends being the purification of our hearts or the unexpected provision of our needs.

Giving in charity allows us to put our money where our heart is. If our heart is in becoming Krishna conscious, in supporting Lord caitanya’s mission, in knowing that sincere practice of Krishna consciousness is good for the whole world, then we can show it by how we faithfully and regularly give and do our part to ensure that this mission spreads and is maintained.

Finally, giving in charity pleases Krishna and increases our faith.

Barriers or Obstacles to Giving

“I just don’t have enough money to give in charity” is a refrain we hear often. Sometimes devotees feel they don’t have enough income to maintain their families, so why should they give in charity? one reason is that giving charity to the right persons increases our faith. by the simple act of following the instruction to give in charity, we will see how Lord Krishna continues to provide for our family.

Frequently, devotees want to do something big for the Lord and wait until they “get in a better position.” but the better position may never come. An anonymous person has stated this succinctly for us: “between the big things we cannot do and the little things we will not do, the danger is that we may never get anything done.” Steadiness and dedication in giving charity are more important than giving huge amounts.

Another obstacle may be that the giver doesn’t trust the recipients of his or her charity. When I was younger, my grandmother and grandfather (a baptist minister) emphasized that one should sincerely tithe (give ten percent of one’s income) after identifying a worthwhile recipient and then trust God for the results. In other words, God Himself will deal with anyone who misuses charity meant for Him.

Giving in charity may often mean some sacrifice. The Supreme Lord suggests this in the Bhagavadgita (18.5) when He tells us, “Acts of sacrifice, charity, and penance are not to be given up but should be performed. Indeed, sacrifice, charity, and penance purify even the great souls.”

Three Kinds of Charity

In the Bhagavad-gita Lord Krishna instructs human beings how to live a peaceful, God-conscious life and then go back home, back to Godhead. He tells Arjuna that all activities fall into three categories, according to the three modes of nature: goodness, passion, and ignorance. Thus, foods are classified as good, passionate, or ignorant, and so are activities such as giving in charity.

To get real spiritual and material benefit, charity should be wisely given. Srila Prabhupada writes, “In the vedic literature, charity given to a person engaged in spiritual activities is recommended.” (Bhagavadgita 17.20, Purport)

Arjuna heard from Krishna about charity in the three modes:

• Charity in the mode of goodness is given out of duty, at the proper time and place, to a worthy person, and without expectation of return. (bg. 17.20)
• Charity performed while expecting some return or in a grudging mood is said to be in the mode of passion. (bg. 17.21)
• Charity performed at an improper place and time and given to unworthy persons, without respect and with contempt, is in the mode of ignorance and yields negative results or consequences. (bg. 17.22).

The Charity Dilemma

The concept of regularly giving a portion of one’s income in charity intimidates many devotees. Although we may know that giving regularly in charity is a goal for which all householders should aspire, still we are sometimes confused about how to apply this principle. Given their financial situation, some devotees can’t decide how or when to give in charity.

In The Nectar of Instruction we learn that simply following rules and regulations without understanding their purpose or goal can cause falldown. So let’s try to grasp the purpose of the charitable principle:

• Everything belongs to Krishna; therefore, when we offer something in the service of the Lord, we’re just returning the property to its rightful owner.
• Giving gifts, prasadam, money, time, talent is a way to show love. It is one of the six loving exchanges between devotees. Spiritual life is a culture of giving.
• Giving charity is a sacrifice that purifies one’s wealth. If wealth is not purified, it will often be taken through legal fees, medical bills, taxes, theft, and so on.
• Even a little given in the service of God rewards the giver hundreds and thousands of times.
• Srila Prabhupada said that the Krishna consciousness movement is creating people who are “independently thoughtful.” He wanted us to use our intelligence and creativity in carrying out scriptural instructions in cooperation with other devotees.

The idea is to begin to consistently give a certain percentage to support the mission of Krishna consciousness, and we can plan to gradually increase this percentage. For householders this is a blessed and necessary duty.

When the Lord sees our steady commitment to giving in charity, He will help us do so, from within and without. Srila Prabhupada wrote in a letter (January 24, 1977), “Krishna will give you intelligence how to engage in honest, brilliant, glorious work on His behalf. There is no need to engage in anything dishonest. Krishna has given enough money. now earn by honest means.”

To Whom Should You Given

The International Society for Krishna consciousness (ISKCON), a branch of the caitanya tree, has many causes, projects, and people focused on Srila Prabhupada’s mission. Imagine what would happen if thousands of devotees committed to giving in charity to regularly support these initiatives.

For example, the Temple of the vedic Planetarium in mayapur is being built based on Srila Prabhupada’s vision and instruction. It is moving forward because caring and faithful devotees are giving in charity to make that stupendous project happen.

Many sannyasis and other mature devotees travel to make sure Lord caitanya’s message is spread. many rely on donations and charity to do their selfless service.

Temples and nama Hatta programs need support to steadfastly distribute prasadam and spiritual knowledge. Particularly, we should support the local Hare Krishna establishment where we are nourished and enlivened.

One senior vaishnava on a small, fixed income has chosen to support Srila Prabhupada’s first temple at 26 Second Avenue by donating $51 per month from her checking account.

“I want to support Prabhupada’s great work in every way I can,” she says.

She has given in charity to support sannyasis, book distribution, the care and upkeep of cows, senior devotees like herself, and more.

A husband and wife, both professionals, don’t have children but have chosen to support many devotee preachers and causes. Their charity is regular, focused, and persistent. They told me they work to be able to give charity and fulfill this very important service in the grhastha ashrama.

Vaishnava care, the Grihastha vision Team, the Festival of Inspiration, Srila Prabupada’s book archives, cow protection so many worthy endeavors need our support, and we can support more than one at a time.

Ultimate Benefit

Ultimately, giving in charity is good for the soul and gives much benefit to the giver. As Srila Prabhupada writes in Krishna (chaper 81), “What the devotee actually offers to the Lord is not needed by the Lord. He is self-sufficient. If the devotee offers something to the Lord, it acts for his own interest because whatever a devotee offers to the Lord comes back in a quantity a million times greater than what was offered. one does not become a loser by giving to the Lord, but he becomes a gainer by millions of times.”

Picture this: Srimati devi comes home from school one afternoon so quietly that her mother senses a problem. “Srimati”, she calls, “Are you okay? How was your day?”, When she doesn’t hear a response, Sudevi, Srimati’s mata goes to the ten year old’s bedroom, takes one glance at her daughter’s tearful face and hugs her. “Mata, today some of the children in my class said I was crazy because I don’t eat meat. One girl put a meat sandwich in my face and I pushed her away from me.” The teacher gave me a detention.

Sudevi comforts her daughter and they talk a little about Krsna, about animals, about how all life is sacred and about how sometimes, because of ignorance, people say and do mean things. Mostly though, she uses this time to show affection and to nurture her daughter and the stand she has taken to see the life in animals as sacred, too.

Imagine a new devotee, Bhakta Ted, being so shaken by an experience with the police on his way to the temple. One of the devotees in the temple brushes it off, “you’ll be alright”, he says, “that’s just a part of your karma, it’s just maya”. Another devotee, sensing how much the disturbance has affected Bhakta Ted, takes times to sit with him, listen carefully to his concerns and reassure him that despite the inevitable difficulties of the material world, Krsna gives his devotees encouragement and fortitude and this too, shall past. He also inquires if there is anything he can do to assist Bhakta Ted.

If we carefully examine people everywhere, we will find that everyone needs emotional support. We are living sentient beings and the desires for affiliation, for friendship, for affection and for appreciation are actually very natural spiritual desires. We have these needs because Lord Krsna, the Original Person from whom all living characteristics come, exhibits these qualities Himself. Here, Srila Prabhupada gives important insight for families: “To cut off the tie of all other affections does not mean complete negation of the finer elements. This is not possible. A living being, whoever he may be, must have this feeling of affection for others because this is a symptom of life.” (Sr. Bhag. 1.8. 42)

So, this is why one of the 12 fundamental principles and values identified by the Grhastha Vision Team for strong, healthy Krsna conscious families is: Family Love and Affection. “Affection is a need of the spirit soul”, declared Srila Prabhupada! A stable emotional background, in which all family or community members feel wanted and appreciated, is essential for the personal and spiritual growth of adults and children.

Sometimes devotees, especially in the neophyte state, misunderstand the meaning of detachment and attachment. And we erroneously conclude that showing affection or attachment is “maya” or material. Warm, loving interactions with other “bodies” may be taken as unnecessary or even as an impediment to spiritual growth. However, such thinking is a great misunderstanding.

When we recognize that all things, all people and all living beings in general (as well as their bodies) belong to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, we will see that we have nothing to renounce and nothing to be detached from because it all belongs to Krsna. Then we will aspire to use everything in His service and treat all with loving care. Srila Prabhupada exemplified this understanding in all of his interactions with everyone. Whether famous or not, a dignitary or a child, he treated each person with a sincere heartfelt caring.

Another challenge to loving family relationships is that we sometimes forget that our husband, wife or child is a devotee and we become careless, neglectful or disrespectful in our dealings with them. The old saying that “Familiarity breeds contempt” is one about which sincere Vaisnavas must be on alert. Praying to truly embody the “trnad api sunicena, taror api sahisnuna, amanina, manadena, kirtaniya sada harih.” instruction given to us by Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, we should try hard to be especially humble and tolerant in our dealings with our family members. In such a mood, we will stay connected with Krsna and be guided by Him from within how to consistently show love and affection to our family members and others. Frequently, devotees will treat devotees outside of their families with respect while (in the mode of forgetting that devotees are right there in their home) while being careless with how they treat the family members.

I have always been pleasantly surprised at the tone and deep heartfelt language between devotees in the Bhagwatam or the Caitanya Caritamrta or the Krsna book – Their interactions with each other are full of sweetness and concern. Generally, no matter what the problems, the devotees in these sastras take time to greet each other with humble appreciation and loving feelings. It is an offense to not be happy to see a devotee! The idea here is to remember that our children, our spouses, our parents, even the person at the temple who may annoy us , are devotees, are all parts and parcels of Krsna. Remembering this will help us treat them with tender loving care.

So how should we express our love to our family members? One of our great acharyas, Srila Rupa Goswami has already given us insight into this question.

As Srila Prabhupada has said, even in ordinary dealings, business people share exchanges such as eating meals together, having discussions and giving gifts. In healthy relationships, loving exchanges are the essence of connectivity. Over 500 hundred years ago, the wonderful saint and scholarly gentleman, Srila Rupa Goswami, delineated the following six primary loving exchanges between people who care about each other:

1. Giving gifts with love, thoughtfulness and generosity
2. Accepting gifts with sincere gratitude
3. Offering food with love
4. Accepting food with love
5. Revealing one’s mind confidentially
6. Hearing and receiving with respect and appreciation

Mutuality and reciprocation are key in these loving exchanges. In our big family, we had an uncle who was the soul of generosity and was always giving gifts or doing favors for his relatives. Yet, it was very difficult for him to accept gifts and services; Eventually these one-sided exchanges took their toll on his relationships so much so that he began to think of himself as the Benevolent One or Benefactor, dispensing money, gifts and other resources to others who then always looked to him as the supplier. Over time, resentment built up – on both sides—when he was unable to give or didn’t want to give, family members neglected him and he resented their attitudes. So it is very important that loving exchanges are reciprocated. Also, something so simple (but often very challenging) as really, genuinely, listening to your child or your spouse or other relative without judgment and without being anxious to get your own words in, can be a great act of love and affection.

Rupa Goswami, also defined real love as devotional service—where one serves his/her beloved with a devoted and favorable attitude. We think this is a great definition because it combines the two fundamental parts of love: devotion (attitude) and service (action). In other words, love is a verb because it indicates both action and state of being. All the spiritual qualities that it takes to advance spiritually are needed to have healthy family life: patience, enthusiasm, firm conviction that Lord Krsna wants healthy family life, performance of regulated principles, straightforward dealings (honesty, integrity) and associating with like-minded souls—actively seek out the association families and other couples who are serious about spiritual life.

Think about it, how often have you sat down to a good meal, prepared by one or the other of your family or friends and neglected to really appreciate the cook for his or her efforts. When a good, tasty nutritious meal is offered to you, don’t take it for granted. Take the time to express your gratitude and sometimes even mention details, “The way that sauce mixed with the broccoli was a taster’s delight, mata”. Little, thoughtful comments such as this are significant in increasing the level of satisfaction in your relationships. Blaise Pascal, a French philosopher said, “ Little things console us because little things afflict us.” So, even little things, like appreciating a good meal, can positively impact a relationship. Take inventory, ask yourself when was the last time you truly listened to your spouse or other family member, gave him or her a gift or prepared some prasadam as a surprise?

Fulfilling our duty as parents requires taking care our children’s spiritual needs.

As the mother of ten children, I am often asked, “How do you fulfill your family responsibilities and still make progress in spiritual life? When do you find the time to serve God?”

“It’s a matter of vision,” I reply. “I realize that I can serve God by caring for my children and husband with love and respect.”

Being a mother and wife is my duty, and I don’t distinguish it from my service to God. It is my service to God.

Central to that service is training my children in service to God. How does one serve God? The scripture Srimad-Bhagavatam lists nine principal ways, beginning with hearing about, praising, and remembering God, and progressing to deeper levels of devotional service.

Spiritual training for children should begin early, and the Vedic scriptures prescribe a rite (garbhadhana-samskara) that creates a spiritual environment at the time of conception. When I was pregnant with each of my children, I read scriptures, listened to spiritual music and lectures, chanted sacred mantras, ate food prepared for and offered to the Lord, prayed (a lot), and associated with like minded spiritual seekers. When I was giving birth, devotional music played quietly in the background. As the children grew, we held daily classes on the Bhagavad-gita and Srimad-Bhagavatam. I chose to home-school my children until they reached the ninth or tenth grade. I wanted to ensure that, in addition to a sound academic background, they would have a strong spiritual foundation. Rather than seeing my children as impediments to my spiritual life, I prayed to be able to view them as devotees of the Lord and to understand that by raising them with love, in a spiritual atmosphere, I was doing a service as pleasing to God as other forms of worship.

While raising children today is difficult, raising God-conscious children is even more so. Just to provide food, clothing, shelter, education, and other physical and mental needs requires great endeavor. Add the diligence and support needed for the children’s spiritual training, and parenting is an awesome responsibility. But by accepting the commitment to act as parental stewards on God’s behalf, dedicated, spiritually inclined parents develop good qualities. From within the heart, the Lord gives sincere, committed parents the intelligence and direction to know what to do and to whom to turn for help. From without, He gives guidance through the guru, scriptures, grandparents, and other experienced parents and spiritually advanced persons.

All over the world, most religiously or spiritually inclined people are married or will get married. The majority of these couples will have children. And of these, many parents seek ways to raise children who are moral, spiritually conscious contributors to the communities in which they live.

The Long Road to Adulthood

Unlike animals, the young in human society don’t grow up quickly to take their place as mature or selfsustaining members of their community. Human children have a variety of long-term needs that must be addressed: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. They need love, food, shelter, education, clothing, recreation, protection, good association, and so on. As dedicated caretakers, spiritually conscious parents must make every effort to provide for these needs in healthy ways. This is an important part of spiritual life: caring for or serving the Lord’s servants. It cannot be neglected.

The best parents are good role models for their children. They demonstrate the spiritual way of life through words and deeds, understanding that children learn what they live. They seek out other parents or families trying to raise God-conscious children. In this way, they create a much-needed support system. Truly “It takes a village to raise a child.” (Ancient African Proverb)

Sometimes it is necessary to get parenting skills so that we can communicate better, resolve conflicts, set goals, and administer discipline in loving ways to our children. Obtaining such skills is also devotional service because it helps us carry out our parenting duties.

God-conscious parenting requires sacrifice. But it is a sacrifice of love that, like other kinds of devotional service, can be quite rewarding. Raising caring, spiritually conscious children is a grand and valuable goal, and to reach it takes a grand commitment.

The Wonderful Art Of Dovetailing

In the Bhagavad-gita (9.27), Lord Krishna tells Arjuna, “All that you do, all that you eat, all that you offer and give away, as well as all austerities that you may perform, should be done as an offering unto Me.”

The secret weapon of parenting is to dovetail everything in Krishna’s service. For example, Krishna declares in Bhagavad-gita (14.4), “I am the seedgiving father.” So, as a parent changing your baby’s diaper, you can remind yourself, “I am changing the diaper of one of God’s children.” When, despite fatigue, you read to or play with your son or daughter, remind yourself that the Lord is noting how you sacrifice to bring joy to one of His children. When you chide your teenage child, do so with the sense that you are caring for a living being who belongs to someone much greater than you. With your spouse, if possible, take the time to prayerfully create some family rules, rituals, and routines that are fair, hopeful, and consistent and that contribute to each child’s growth and development.

Parents who want to raise kind, considerate, spiritually aware children must provide more than just physical maintenance for their offspring. Dovetailing family life to Krishna distinguishes God-conscious parents (grhastha) from those who don’t (grhamedhi). To paraphrase Lord Krishna: “Offer the austerities of your parenting duties as an offering to Me.”

Moving on Up

In Vedic culture, life is divided into four stages, called asramas, or “places of spiritual growth”: (1) student life, (2) married or family life, (3) retired life, and (4) renounced life. Each stage is meant for growth and development and requires the fulfillment of certain duties. Being a God-conscious parent means that you are in an asrama (the grhastha asrama) that is part of a spiritually progressive system. The grhastha asrama is meant for living a wholesome, loving, regulated family life.

Since most people marry and have children, the grhastha asrama is an example to others and offers hope. One who sincerely accepts the service of becoming a Krishna conscious parent is empowered by God Himself to do this service. Godconscious parenting is a vital duty very much appreciated by the Lord.

The Vedic scriptures tell us that we should not become parents unless we can bring our children to a higher stage of spiritual life and save them from the cycle of birth and death. Prospective parents should realize their tremendous responsibility.

“You must produce nice children,” Srila Prabhupada said. “For that purpose, sex life is allowed. And especially in this age, at the present moment, if you can produce children to become Krishna conscious, that will be a great service to the Lord.

Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura and his wife, Srimati Bhagavati Devi, were an ideal couple who raised ten children in late nineteenth-century India. He was a great spiritual master and government official who perfectly balanced his parental, spiritual, and administrative duties. He rightly appreciated that he was but a steward for Lord Krishna’s children and property. A masterful poet and songwriter, he wrote in one song, “My life, my wife, my family all belong to you, O Lord.”

Results Are Up to the Lord

Our duty as parents is to be good examples in a God-conscious setting. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, our children will cause us problems. Therefore, we must remember, as the Gita teaches us, that we can only do our duty and rely on the Lord for the results.

Too many children grow up to be crude, harsh, immoral, undisciplined, or criminal. Psychologically and spiritually unhealthy children grow up to be unhealthy adults.

“Hurt people hurt people,” says actor and educator Bill Cosby.

In other words, people who have been abused or misused will often become abusers or exploiters themselves. Our world cries out for children who are truthful, compassionate, self-disciplined, clean in mind and body, and spiritually inclined. They will carry these qualities into adulthood.

Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu predicted a golden age of God consciousness within the present age of quarrel and deceit. That will require more and more God-conscious children and adults to populate the earth.

“Good population in human society,” Srila Prabhupada writes, “is the basic principle for peace, prosperity, and spiritual progress in life.”